Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Credible Threat

Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If Kerry Elected

Finally, a terror alert I can trust! The Onion transmogrifies Cheney's comments about the danger of electing John Kerry into him threatening to attack the nation himself if he doesn't win in November--and the result is priceless. How about this closing gem?
"I urge all Americans to remain calm in the face of this new threat," Democratic vice presidential nominee John Edwards said. "Rest assured that, once elected, John Kerry has a plan to contend with any threat against our nation, whether from rogue nations, terrorists, or former vice presidents."

"Should John Kerry be elected, he and I will work with, not against, the international community," Edwards added. "I have no doubt that we would be able to assemble a coalition of nations more than willing to aid us in the war against Dick Cheney."
Yeah, I bet even the French would be part of that mighty coalition. "Willing" wouldn't begin to describe the level of international enthusiasm.

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