Puppet Sex

DVDs that put it on (and take it all off)

Is there something wrong with me? This is a question I've often asked myself as I choose to see the unrated versions of movies rather than their theatrical release versions. This weekend, for instance, we watched Team America: World Police, complete with a re-inserted scene that consists of two puppets having sex in every conceivable position and partaking in some activities that probably didn't show up much in the Kinsey Report. (We watched Kinsey, too.)

This article confirms that I'm not alone. 86% of those who bought Eurotrip, for instance, bought the unrated version (which features a special menu of all the nude scenes), while fully 90% of American Wedding buyers chose the un-MPAA-ed version. While I'm not endorsing the purchase of either film, I can understand the impulse. If you're going to watch a vapid teen comedy, why impose restrictions on it? That's like having a hot fudge sundae with brownies and whipped cream and caramel and then saying, "No, I won't have any pecans."

This line of thinking could explain why we're a nation of fat perverts. Alas...

Bo(o)-Hoo

Carrie crowned latest ‘American Idol’

At least we know now that Carrie has an emotion chip. I'd have preferred to see Bo win, and it's too bad that the person who had the better take on the Idol single didn't get to deliver it last night. But Carrie held her own with Rascal Flatts, and her "Angels Brought Me Here" was serviceable. Bo, who fit right in with Lynyrd Skynyrd, will be fine; I'm sure he and Clive Davis will be in talks by the end of the week.

And it was a fun finale, especially the daring mockery of the ABC expose of Paula Abdul. Yes, the ending--Simon is having a love affair with himself--was silly, but having Randy singing a song patterned after Corey Clark's--and having it playing in the car as they drove around--was genius.

And now it's over, and Fantasia is still better than anyone they found this year. Maybe it's time to pack the show up and call it quits?

Or maybe next January I'll be glued to the TV again...

New Review

My review of Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go is posted on Amazon. In short--I really liked it and think it provides food for a LOT of thought. Have a look if you like.

The Comedian Strikes Back

The Huffington Post | The Blog

Linked above is Bill Maher's response to Congressman Bachus. I hope it gets played up by the major media. A sample:

And by the way, these "comments" were part of a longer, scripted comedy piece in the modest proposal tradition. I can see why administration supporters would want to deflect attention away from the gist of the piece, which was this: now that we can't meet our recruiting goals, maybe it's the people who were so gung ho for this war to begin with who should step up and go fight it. But of course it's always easier to distract people.

Kind of sad when we have to look to our late-night comedians for common sense, isn't it?

Bo-wled Over

'American Idol' Contestants Face Off

I don't think the AP's David Bauder understands how Idol works, judging from this statement about Bo: "He rebounded with a more rousing Chicago number ['Vehicle'] and later sang 'Inside Your Heaven,' a song Underwood had performed only minutes earlier. It was a gutsy choice, giving voters a chance to compare him directly with his competitor on the same song."

Not quite, David: "Inside Your Heaven" is the new Idol single, apparently, and if prior experience is any indication, the contestants had no choice but to throw it into their three song mix somewhere. Remember last year, when Diana and Fantasia both sang "I Believe?" (Actually, you probably don't; Diana's rendition was thin, bland, and miserable, and thus quickly forgotten, while Fantasia's soulful take can still bring a wee tear to my eye.)

Anyhow, it was a tepid night, but Bo still deserves to win; his "Vehicle" was better than Carrie's "Independence Day," which screeched all over the map, and when they went head to head on the single, there was no question about Bo's supremacy. Carrie may have bested Bo with her "Angels Brought Me Here"--his "Long, Long Road" was long, long, and boring--but that shouldn't be enough to overcome Bo's a capella triumph last week. We'll all know in twelve hours...

Coming to an End

Queer as Folk's Last Hurrah

I finally got to see the first two episodes of the final season of Queer as Folk--I missed the actual two-hour premiere because my hotel in D.C. didn't have Showtime, but fortunately Comcast's On Demand picks up each episode right after it airs.

It wasn't as good as I hoped--are the first episodes of new seasons of shows we await with bated breath ever as good as we hope?--but it still reminded me why I watch, and love, this show. As the writer of the article above says, "After I inhaled the 22 episodes of that first season over about a week of intensive viewing, I remember going to the supermarket and feeling completely disoriented when the whole world wasn’t gay. That was the real contribution that Queer as Folk made: it normalized queerness, and made heterosexuality seem totally bizarre."

That's what this show does--for an hour or two, it allows me to slip into a world where I don't think about the way I look at other people, or catch myself before I allow my eyes to follow an attractive fellow all the way down the grocery aisle, or consider whether it will be odd for my sister's wedding guests that there will be a man sitting next to me at the family table. It allows me to inhabit a world where everyone is gay and yet everyone knows and understands what it's like to deal with the heterosexual world, even if it seems to happen only when needed as a plot device.

It will never win Emmys; a lot of the things it depicts probably make even GLAAD cringe. But if I could only keep one of the series with which I've been obsessed these last years, Queer as Folk is nonetheless the show that I would choose. When I didn't know quite who I was going to be and how I would handle my sudden realization that I was gay and there was no turning back, the knowledge that this show existed gave me hope. Now that I know what I know, watching the trashy exploits of the characters gives me a window on another part of the gay world and lets me see people in similar situations to my own. (Let's face it, David and Keith on Six Feet Under are a whole level of dysfunction away from where I'm prepared to go.) Beyond that, the show pushed me toward Morrissey and The Smiths when "How Soon is Now" played over the end credits of a first-season episode, a push that eventually made "Shoplifters of the World Unite" one of my favorite songs.

Maybe someday the words of that song will come true, and we "shoplifters" will unite and take over. When we do, maybe there will be more shows where you can see a man kiss another man and not have the camera pull away immediately, where you can see two women expressing their love for one another and have it treated as naturally as any Hollywood movie might treat man-woman sexuality. Until that day, I'm going to miss my weekly dose of Queer as Folk.

Sad But True

Congressman Slams Maher Over Army Remark

Back from D.C., where a little chat I had in the hallway of the Hart office building apparently brought some Senators to their senses. Glad to help.

I should have had a chat with Rep. Spencer Bachus of Alabama, who wants Bill Maher strung up by his toes, or at least taken off the air, for saying about the Army missing its recruiting goal by 42%, "More people joined the Michael Jackson fan club. We've done picked all the low-lying Lynndie England fruit, and now we need warm bodies." (Maher went on to suggest that those who voted for Bush and supported the war should volunteer to go to Iraq.)

Now, I admit that it's not nice to compare all our soldiers to Lynndie England, but doesn't Maher have a point? If the Army can't find new recruits because no one wants to go to Iraq, doesn't that suggest that support for the war--and Bush--is a mile wide and an inch deep? If his supporters really believe in him, shouldn't they at least consider serving in the war they asked for and received?

United We Stand

I'm hoping that title will refer to the agreement between management and workers at United and NOT to a slogan of striking workers. I'm leaving tomorrow--on United--for a three-day meeting in Washington, D.C. As a result, my thoughts on Episode III will have to wait until the movie hits the $200 million mark on Tuesday or so.

In the meantime, I've finally posted a few new reviews on Amazon, for Assassination Vacation and Snobs. Enjoy!

Piling On

'Star Wars' grosses record $50 mln in first day

I'd say the four-day box office record is pretty much a given, wouldn't you?

Sad, Not Mad

Bye-bye Baby V - American Idol

Poor Vonzell. Idol's most improved contestant got voted off last night, leaving us with the long-predicted Bo-Carrie finale. Is there any question that Bo should win?

But Baby V gave them all a run for their money, didn't she? Her performances Tuesday night weren't her best, but they were still better than Carrie's, and while Vonzell may have missed the soul of "Chain of Fools," it's worth noting that Carrie was smiling as she sang the end of "Crying." That's about as apt a portrait of her as I can imagine--hitting the notes but understanding none of what's coming out of her mouth. Vonzell may not have "gotten" her song on Tuesday as well as Fantasia once did--Barrino's "Chain of Fools" was a growling taunt to the one making her a link in his chain, where Vonzell seemed almost pleased to be in bondage--but she nailed a lot of other songs with emotion and passion, something we've never seen from Carrie.

He wasn't my original pick--I wanted Nadia to win, you'll recall--but Bo is beyond a shadow of a doubt the better of the two finalists, and a loss for him will be only slightly less appalling than a Diana DeGarmo win would have been last year. But it's been an interesting season! I won't be counting Bo's chickens until they hatch next Wednesday.

Trio

I missed the first third of Idol last night due to a veterinary emergency (Raider stopped eating and allowed me to pick him up without a fight, not at all like usual) but did see enough to know what I'd like to see happen tonight.

Bo's got to win this thing now, right? That a capella performance was so daring, so unexpected, and so incredible that he's head and shoulders above the others. Bo was also the only contestant whose song choice seemed inspired; Vonzell had already done "Chain of Fools" in her audition and set herself up for comparisons to last year's rendition by Fantasia, while Carrie singing Air Supply is just the blandest thing I can imagine.

If it were up to me--and we watched the show on tape, so I couldn't vote, so it's really not up to me at all--Carrie would go back to Checotah tonight and Bo would get to romp over Vonzell next week. Then Clive Davis would sign deals with all three singers anyway, because they've all got enough talent to make it as recording artists. In reality, I'm sure the predictable slog started with Scott's demise will continue and Vonzell will go home tonight. Too bad--two hours half-filled with Carrie's animatronic performances sounds pretty awful, doesn't it?

One More Thing

Time to Celebrate
A Full Year of Civil Marriage

Andrew Sullivan also weighs in on today's significance. His optimistic piece is a perfect way to end this very optimistic day.

One Year Later

Happy anniversary

Today's Boston Globe has several pieces about the fact that it's the one-year anniversary of the first legal gay marriages in Massachusetts. In the paper's lead editorial, it notes that more than 5,000 gay couples have wed in the ensuing year--and yet the state has a lower divorce rate than "any of the 18 states that have adopted constitutional bans on gay marriage." This despite "the mundane reality...that, as the result of the Supreme Judicial Court decision allowing these marriages, nearly every resident of the state now has gay married couples as neighbors."

As the paper says,

It strains the imagination to see how a year of gay marriage has caused the state any discernible harm. Supporters even point to a modest economic boost due to tourism and other local spending on gay weddings. But the reason to toast today's wedding anniversaries has little to do with tax revenues and everything to do with the riches that come from extending civil rights to every citizen.

Illinois, are you listening?

Meanwhile, Anne and Chad Gifford offer a more personal reflection regarding what is has meant for their family that their gay son was able to marry his longtime partner. It's a beautiful explanation of why allowing gay marriage is a family values issue--and not the way the religious right means it. If this is the only link you follow from this blog, that would be OK with me.

Sudden Irrelevance

The New York Times Announces TimesSelect - New Online Offering to Launch in September

I'm betting Paul Krugman and Frank Rich are not very happy today. If they're like most writers, they want their work seen by as many people as possible. The decision by the New York Times to charge $50 a year (starting in September) for its online op-ed content guarantees that many of the millions who, like me, start the day with the NYT Op-Ed page will go elsewhere. This is a sad day for the internet.

Replacement Found

NBC Releases Fall Schedule

"NBC is moving the political drama 'The West Wing' to Sunday nights, with the campaign to replace Martin Sheen as the mythical president continuing."

And thus Sunday night is once again home to my appointment TV. I hope HBO's move of Six Feet Under to Mondays this summer is a precedent for The Sopranos, though. If I have to choose between Tony Soprano and some new president, Tony's going to win every time.

Win, Place, Show

Movie Review | 'Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith': Some Surprises in That Galaxy Far, Far Away

A.O. Scott's review of the final Star Wars film is worth reading. Without giving away much, he creates anticipation for what should be the best moviegoing experience of the year:

This is by far the best film in the more recent trilogy, and also the best of the four episodes Mr. Lucas has directed. That's right (and my inner 11-year-old shudders as I type this): it's better than "Star Wars."

"Revenge of the Sith," which had its premiere here yesterday at the Cannes International Film Festival, ranks with "The Empire Strikes Back" (directed by Irvin Kershner in 1980) as the richest and most challenging movie in the cycle.

Excited yet? My hopes for this film are high; we watched the two existing prequels and while they're not very good, they weren't quite as bad as I remembered, and some of the scenes had taken on a new resonance based on revelations made in all the various trailers for the new film. Nothing can make up for the fact that, in Scott's words, "Mr. Lucas's indifference to two fairly important aspects of moviemaking - acting and writing - is remarkable," but for some reason I believe this movie will be great.

By the way, Michael Wilmington of the Chicago Tribune gave it 4 stars, and Roger Ebert gave it 3.5. It's going to be a long week of anticipation!

Milestone

Amazon.com: About You: Reviews

I haven't been very diligent about writing reviews lately, but today I've reached a milestone: 500 helpful votes. Feel free to click above and roll the odometer past this round figure if you like.

I should be writing a review of Snobs (currently on the nightstand to the right) soon, as I'm really enjoying it and turning the pages rather quickly. I love being done with school for the summer!

Meet My Next Car

Toyota plans hybrid Camry, building it in U.S.

Toyota plans to release this new hybrid in 2006, just as it redesigns the Camry. My 2004 Corolla has plenty of life left in it (she's only got 14,000 miles on her thanks to my short commute), and with the prospect of taking on a mortgage next year, I won't be buying a new car in the next few years. But when I do, I can now pretty well promise that it'll be a hybrid, and considering how reliable my Toyota has been, a Camry would appear to be the logical choice.

Middle age, here I come!

Last Chance...

Maher: Balance Brings a Better Talk Show

Until August. Tomorrow night's episode of Real Time With Bill Maher will be the last until August 19. Bill's show has really been a treat this season, with great guests, honest debate, and the healthy dose of humor Maher always infuses into the news. If you're not watching, you should be.

Liar, Liar

Speed-reading with the President

The picture included with the linked Wonkette post is pretty damning. Unless President Bush is biking to meet a friend to whom he wants to lend his copy of I Am Charlotte Simmons, Tom Wolfe's recent raunchy take on college life, he's still making his way through it, which would defy a report in February that he had already finished--and enjoyed--the nearly 700-page tome. I know it's important to our vital interests that Bush, Cheney, and everyone around them lie about matters of national security, the economy, and which way is up, but whether you've finished a book? That, Mr. President, is a bridge too far.

Upside Down

Was it just me, or was last night's edition of Idol a bit surprising? Simon was forced to blame the band, of all things, for Carrie's bad rendition of "If You Don't Know Me By Now," and Anthony's bold choice to sing the same song as the presumed favorite seemed to pay off; his version was better and the judges all but said so. (I think they could have been kinder to him rather than picking on him for choosing "easy" songs. Carrie chose one of the same "easy" songs and blew it, and her performance of "Sin Wagon" wasn't exactly inspiring.)

I'm worried for Vonzell after last night. If her second song sounded as good as the judges claimed, it wasn't coming through our speakers; her voice was buried in the mix. And Simon was right; Baby V seemed nervous, and I was glad when she was done; I was afraid, after her crying meltdown following her first song, that she would just collaspe into a heap during song two. And what was up with that? I expected Seacrest to ask Vonzell what was troubling her, or explain to us that there were family issues, or something that would have put the crying jag in context. Instead, they left her looking overwhelmed by the pressure, which didn't seem like it was actually the reason for her tears.

As for Bo, his performances were fine as usual, but he's not stirring up any excitement. I may be worn out on his whole schtick. That said, I think he's cruising to the finale.

Anyhow, I hope Carrie finally gets a taste of bottom-dom tonight, though they may not name a bottom two or three at all at this stage. I know Anthony deserves to go based on the cumulative performances, but he was good last night, and I just don't like Carrie anymore--I would leap for joy if she's sent back to Oklahoma tonight. She's going to come out of this thing a star anyhow; I'd prefer not to see her robot face looking out at me during the opening credits for season five.

Paula Porn?

Corey Clark Says He Has Affair Evidence

Now Corey Clark says he has "explicit" and "incriminating" evidence that he's telling the truth about having an affair with Paula Abdul when he was a contestant on American Idol. What could this be? Paula isn't stupid enough to let herself be filmed having sex with a grifter, is she?

Well, she did put Leah LaBelle through to the top twelve last season. So anything is possible.

I Have You Now

Let the countdown begin. My wallet currently contains two tickets for the 10:30 PM showing of Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith next Friday. We'll be seeing the film on one of three screens in Illinois to show the movie as George Lucas intends: the digital version in a DLP theatre.

Here's hoping it will be a day long remembered.

Letter to the Editor

Study: Sweat odor affects women, gay men alike

Yes, I sent this.

I was sad to read the headline "Sweat equity: Study finds odor affects women, gay men alike," in my paper this morning. A study whose results may show that homosexual attraction is a native trait rather than a choice need not be presented in a manner that encourages readers to think of gay men as women. Such talk is the stuff of schoolyard bullying, not newspaper headlines.

For a better way, look to the New York Times, which headlined a similar article "For Gay Men, an Attraction to a Different Kind of Scent," with the subhead "The new research may open the way to studying human pheromones, as well as the biological basis of sexual preference." That's the real story, and that's what this morning's Tribune should have focused on.

Boo Hoo

Hillary in 2008? No Way!

Anonymous--I mean, Joe Klein--says Hillary shouldn't run for president in 2008. His reasoning is kind of unfair to Hillary herself; he says she can't run because she was already perceived as a sort of co-president with Bill and because the prospect of Bill having a large role in her adminstration would loom over her candidacy. Moreover, he says, "I suspect there would be innate and appropriate populist resistance to this slouch toward monarchial democracy. There is something fundamentally un-American—and very European—about the Clintons and the Bushes trading the office every eight years, with stale, familiar corps of retainers, supporters and enemies. Bill Clinton was a good President. Hillary Clinton is a good Senator. But enough already. (And that goes for you too, Jeb.)"

Fair enough--but who would you run, Joe? Kerry again? Too bad we can't wait and choose our nominee after the Republicans choose theirs; beating McCain, Giuliani, and Frist are very different tasks suited to very different Democrats. For McCain you throw up a sacrificial lamb; for Giuliani, you can run consider another northeasterner or a Midwestern candidate; for Frist, you find someone who can project sanity and yet rip a bad man to shreds while wearing a smile. Hillary could beat Frist; might beat Giuliani, and would be in for the fight of her life (as would any Democrat) against unlikely nominee McCain. Kerry? I don't even want to think about it.

Dream Dead?

Weezer: Make Believe: Pitchfork Review

I've been looking forward to tomorrow for a while; despite the bad taste left by Maladroit, I can still remember the day in 2001 when Weezer's second eponymous album came out and I listened to it a dozen times, loving every song every time through. I've been dreaming that tomorrow's Make Believe would feel that way.

I'm still rushing out to buy it tomorrow, but perhaps with tempered expectations: Pitchfork has given the album a rating of 0.4 out of 10.

On the other hand, this is a site that gave the Green Album (the one I listened to over and over) a 4 out of 10, while giving Maladroit (the boring one) a 5.4, so maybe I should just ignore them.

Early Warning

Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith
Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith

The reviews are in--and they're stellar. You can breathe again, Star Wars fans. This time around is going to be different.

Justified

Everything Bad Is Good for You: How Today's Pop Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter by Steven Johnson, reviewed by Salon.com

Following up on the article in the New York Times Magazine a few weeks back, the link above is a review of Steven Johnson's new book about pop culture. The reviewer, Farhad Manjoo, argues that Johnson's theory should make sense to anyone my age--of course video games and TV can make you smarter! Have you ever tried to beat a complicated game? You work out a strategy, learn from experience, revise your plans--it's life writ small. Yes, you're learning how to solve fictional problems, but the process is the same as the one for solving real ones. (I'm sure this statement shocks those who knew me in my college days of decrying all the time spent on gaming.) Have you ever tried to follow the plot on The Sopranos? There's a reason people call one another afterward to confirm what they think was happening in this scene and collaboratively recall the salient details from that scene. Watching TV can be hard work.

Anyhow, it's a great review, probably good enough that once you've read it, you'll know all you would want to from the book. Enjoy.

Don't We All?

W.House wants to see oil, gas prices drop

I want, you want, we all want. But this "W.House" in the headline happens to have the might of the world's most powerful nation at his disposal and armies in the world's richest oil fields. He can do more than want, can't he?

Healthy Recommendation

Let's Not Save Social Security - Once it's fixed, we can't fix it again!

I'm not usually in agreement with Mickey Kaus, but the essence of his argument here--that fixing Social Security now would make it much harder for Democrats to eventually reach the goal of universal health care, and therefore any proposal that would do so should be left to die on the vine--makes sense. Every other "real" country in the world has already accepted that health care is best provisioned in a centralized fashion, and the American people appear to realize this. Their realization will only grow with time, as will the percentage of Americans already being covered by the government through Medicare as the population ages.

But a single-payer system that works will be expensive, even if less expensive than the mess we have now, and may require some of the money the current Social Security fixes on the table would use. As Kaus says:

Would you take a deal that gave us universal Medicare-style health insurance if the price was cutting down Social Security into a mere program of earned insurance against poverty? It seems like a no-brainer to me. But it's only possible if Social security is perceived as in need of fixing--even better, if it's in crisis!

So let the crisis roll...right into 2009! Hillary, health care--it's gonna be like 1993 all over again!

Great Scott!

Ex-'Idol' Won't Help Fox Probe Charges

It's finally over. When the giant "19" sign popped up on the screen, cutting off the last minutes of Scott Savol's Idol journey, I pumped my fists into the air with joy.

The ABC special, however, left me wondering if we've also seen the last of Paula. Yes, these charges of cheating come from a grifter, but he's a grifter with phone records and recorded messages and witnesses who all appear to be telling the same story. If this is all made up, Corey Clark has gone to quite a lot of trouble to line everything up to look real. Singing "Bridge Over Troubled Water" to Paula and giving her flowers isn't going to make all of this go away.

By the way, Corey may have made it to the top twelve, but does anyone think he'd have beaten his season's eventual top trio of Ruben, Clay, and Kimberly? That seems a dubious prospect to me based on his singing last night. Then again, Ryan Seacrest is still around even after sporting that surfer hair he had the night Corey was bounced from the show, so anything's possible...

E-ticked

Airlines to ask for more passenger info

This article will probably inflame privacy advocates who loathe the idea of giving up their middle name and birth date in order to board a plane. I, however, will jump at the opportunity.

You see, someone with my name has gone and gotten me on the TSA watch list. Every time I fly, I try to check in using my electronic ticket. Every time, I get a little slip of paper telling me to visit an agent. This usually means that instead of having time to sit down and have a real meal while I await my flight, I spend an extra half hour in line and scarf down McDonald's before boarding. This name confusion makes me arrive at the airport earlier than I would like, fearful that I will otherwise miss my flight because of the delay. And it makes me feel like a criminal, standing there while the woman (always a woman since this started happening) behind the counter calls some special number to find out if I'm the man they're looking for.

If I can give up my middle name and birth date and in return never have to wait for the person on the other end of the phone to confirm that I'm not a terrorist, that sounds like a fair trade to me.

Quick Pick

Last night's show saw the contestants perform in order from worst to first, didn't it? Therefore, I predict that tonight's bottom three will be Vonzell, Scott, and Anthony, who will sadly be the one voted out. The fact that I'm picking Scott to be in the top four when I think he should never have made the top twelve saddens me, but Anthony's "Poison Ivy" was dreadful and Scott's "On Broadway," with his swagger and humor, probably played right to his demented fan base.

Please, America, prove me wrong.

Abdul Out?

'American Idol,' Ready for An Unflattering Close-Up?

This article speculates that tomorrow night's ABC News special about Idol has the goods on an inappropriate relationship between Paula Abdul and second-season contestant Corey Clark and that this might bring Paula down. Surely there are those among us who would be happy to see her replaced with a judge willing to, well, judge the contestants, but do we really want to see the woman who brought us "Forever your Girl" and "Straight Up" dragged through the mud? I, for one, don't think I do.

Of course, the real scandal of the week will come when Idol voters keep Scott around yet again and eliminate Bo instead. If Scott lasts much longer, I'm looking forward to watching Simon Cowell get up out of his chair to strangle Savol on stage before an audience of millions. Imagine a final four of Carrie, Vonzell, Anthony, and Scott coming from such a talented top twelve and you'll immediately see that a sensible jury would show mercy on Cowell.

Talk of the Town

Laura Bush: First lady of comedy?

I'm no fan of Laura Bush--there's something creepy about her--but the transcript above, from her appearance at the White House Correspondants Dinner, does offer some funny potshots at her husband that seem a bit risque, including one that will force you to imagine the president pleasuring a male horse and another that will force you to contemplate him failing to pleasure his wife. Does Laura have a future in comedy? She certainly has the material...