Monday, January 09, 2006

Low Sales Resistance

USATODAY.com - It's a date: 'Brokeback' romance draws couples

Hey, straight guys: Have you see Brokeback Mountain yet? According to USA Today, you should:
The movie has emerged as a test of hipness for straight men, says Andrea Miller, founder of relationship magazine Tango: "The coffee dates after this movie surely are filled with intense conversations that get into areas of vulnerability, and women love that in a man."
While one Utah theatre refused to play the movie this weekend, it was that theatre's loss: The film continues to have the highest per-theatre average gross a month after being released, even as it opens in more and more places where audiences "shouldn't" exist for it.

Larry David suggested last week in the New York Times that he wouldn't see Brokeback because "I'm a very susceptible person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-resistance." (He made use of this joke on Seinfeld, you may recall.) But I still think this is a bogus excuse (and I'm guessing Larry does, too):
So who's to say I won't become enamored with the whole gay business? Let's face it, there is some appeal there. I know I've always gotten along great with men. I never once paced in my room rehearsing what to say before asking a guy if he wanted to go to the movies. And I generally don't pay for men, which of course is their most appealing attribute.

And gay guys always seem like they're having a great time. At the Christmas party I went to, they were the only ones who sang. Boy that looked like fun. I would love to sing, but this weighty, self-conscious heterosexuality I'm saddled with won't permit it.

I just know if I saw that movie, the voice inside my head that delights in torturing me would have a field day. ''You like those cowboys, don't you? They're kind of cute. Go ahead, admit it, they're cute. You can't fool me, gay man. Go ahead, stop fighting it. You're gay! You're gay!''

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

Unless you really believe that watching boys kiss might turn you gay (in which case last night's Desperate Housewives has surely already done the trick), it's time to saddle up and see Brokeback. You'll be surprised how much you enjoy it--and how much it affects you:
During filming of the cowboys' final meeting, there was evidence the story would appeal to a broad audience. "Ang suddenly noticed everyone was crying," [distribution chief James] Shamus says. "This was the crew, folks who are just there to do a day's work. Right then, we thought, 'We have something here.' "
If you're a straight guy who's already seen the movie and didn't turn gay, feel free to tell us about it in the comments.

1 comment:

Paul Allen said...

You sort of left no recourse but to comment with the way you phrased your final sentence.

As it is, I don't have eloquent terms to express that seeing the movie has enhanced my straight male self, but I do have some uneloquent terms. That being: There's more female nudity in the movie than there is male. You could do much worse than Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams. I only wish Linda Cardinelli had completed the trifecta.