Stop the Madness

Why Am I Still Getting E-mails from John Kerry?

Emily Messner is keyed in on an issue that seems earth-shattering every time I open another long-winded, donation-link-laden e-mail from John Kerry, an experience that I've had about once a week for the past year. (I delete the messages from my work account as soon as they come and yet I still have 12 hiding in my inbox.)

I would have been thrilled to see you win, John; just last night I saw a snippet of Fahrenheit 9/11, where Bush dresses up like a fighter pilot and declares victory in Iraq, and wondered how stupid the rest of the world must think we are for re-electing the doofus. But that doesn't mean I want to keep being reminded of it by you. Go about your business in the Senate. Come up with some great legislation and get yourself some actual cosponsors rather than pretending that the people on your e-mail list can cosponsor a bill with you. If the pain of losing our attention is too great, you can always buy yourself some happiness with Teresa's money.

But please: stop sending me e-mails. You had your chance in 2004 because we couldn't find anyone better. In a mission that should have been simple--dump the doofus--you failed. It's someone else's turn now.