Cooped Up

The agony of adult nail biters



Apparently Anderson Cooper needs more outlets for his creativity than CNN alone can provide, as this column from the November 2003 issue of Details (posted today on CNN.com for some reason) demonstrates. And evidently he needs more outlets for his nervous energy, too:

Doctors will tell you that nibbling nails is a sign of anxiety and insecurity, a nasty habit that can lead to infection.

I'm sure they're right. There are certainly plenty of less painful ways to deal with stress, but really, how many times a day can you masturbate?

Now, I'm all for public discussion of masturbation, and the idea of the silver-haired-yet-super-sexy Mr. Cooper engaging in same is not one to which I'm averse. But is this really how CNN wants its "is he or isn't he gay?" anchor-of-the-future talking? He's already taken to crying on camera in response to the strain of reporting on Hurricane Katrina. Is this the next step?

I smell a ploy...imagine the gay audience ratings-challenged CNN would attract if rumors of this sort got started? (Now that's a suggestion for improving CNN that would never occur to Mickey Kaus!)